Podcast #101
Why You Can’t Recharge With a Toxic Boss
When my phone battery is under 5%, I go crazy. I run to the next charger, because I need the freaking apps on there.
But when I was in a toxic workplace, I went for months without recharging myself. Only draining energy, left and right. Even on the weekends, I was thinking about work.
Now, in hindsight, I know why.
You were in survival mode
I was fighting the situation. I wanted to keep my paycheck. And when you’re fighting, you don’t take a step back and ask, “How are my energy levels?”
Of course not. You don’t stop in the middle of a fight to ask yourself if you should take a nap.
So when you finally do try to recharge, it doesn’t work. Because the fight isn’t over. There was no end. No clear winner and loser. It’s ongoing.
I once paid $150 for a massage and ended up thinking about my toxic workplace. Stupid AF. And I still did it.
Not because I was stupid. Because I couldn’t see what was going on while I was in survival mode.
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The full truth: you did not lose your skills
Let’s get this straight first.
- Your skills are still yours.
- Same for every credential you earned.
- Nothing you can bring to the market is gone.
Maybe this job wasn’t a success. And that feels scary, I get it. That’s part of why you’re in survival mode. But the skills are still yours.
Why your energy keeps draining
Resisting the attacks, the scheming and the bullying of a toxic boss takes a ton of energy.
It gets worse if your boss shows narcissistic behavior. Those bosses are pure energy vampires. They like you drained, because a drained you is easier to control. It’s part of their game.
And as long as you’re in survival mode, you don’t see it. As long as you don’t see it, you can’t change anything. Which is exactly what your boss wants.
No energy, no skills
If my phone has no battery, it can’t use any apps.
If you have no energy:
- your skills are getting out of reach,
- confidence feels impossible,
- and that next great-paying role stays a dream.
It all depends on energy. You don’t have to be spiritual to see that. There’s a reason we have to sleep.
And let’s be honest, you’re probably not sleeping the way you used to. I wasn’t. I was waking up at 3 a.m., wondering what to do. Draining all day, not recharging at night. Can you see that this is an energy problem?
The moment I woke up
I was in a meeting with one of my employees. I had to give a strategy presentation, something I usually did in my sleep.
And I went blank. Completely blank.
Your life is not your job
I want you to be motivated and hugely successful. If you want to work 50 or 60 hours, that’s your call.
But a battery that only goes down and never recharges is not sustainable. Your life is not your job. Your job is there to sustain your life.
The tools I wish I had back then
The tools I’m talking about are simple and plain. I wish I’d had them sooner. They’re just not what you learn in an MBA.
So I built them into something you can use like an app:
- Sunday, and you want your weekend back? There’s a tool for exactly that.
- Drained after work, with a spiral you can’t stop? Open the after-work one.
- For the 1:1 you’re dreading tomorrow, one helps you walk in with your best energy.
You open it, scroll to the moment you’re in, tap and press play.
Not because energy replaces strategy. Because you can’t out-strategize a toxic boss on an empty tank. Protect your energy first. Then play the game, whether that’s building your political network and safety net or finding your next role.
You matter. How you go through this matters.
I am rooting for you,
Fela
FAQ
Why can’t I relax on weekends when my boss is toxic?
Because the situation isn’t over. There’s no clear end, so part of you stays on alert, even at a massage or on a Saturday morning.
How do I know if my energy is the problem?
If skills you used without thinking feel out of reach, or nothing you do to rest refills you, it may be worth looking at your energy first.
Do I have to be spiritual to protect my energy?
No. You need sleep, breaks and a way to come down after a hard moment. How you do that is up to you.
My story, not a promise of results.
Disclaimer: This article and the linked podcast episode are for educational and informational purposes only and reflect general career coaching perspectives. Fela Rosa is a certified coach, not a licensed therapist, doctor, lawyer or financial advisor. Nothing here is legal, HR, medical, financial or mental health advice. If you’re going through a hard time with your mental or physical health, please reach out to a licensed healthcare professional. If you believe you’re experiencing discrimination, harassment, retaliation or other unlawful conduct, seek advice from a qualified professional. Read our full Disclaimer.
Running on empty?
You can’t out-strategize a toxic boss on an empty tank. Protect your energy first. Then play the game.
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About Corporate Warriors
Corporate Warriors helps high performers and leaders build career success without selling their soul.
Founded by Fela Rosa, a former tech high performer turned conscious career coach, the company guides professionals to break free from toxic workplaces, rebuild confidence, and create careers rooted in self-trust and alignment.
Follow @Corporate_Warriors on Instagram or visit corporatewarriors.io for more free tools, courses, and coaching resources.
Where are you right now?
Still stuck with a toxic boss?
Reclaim your power, even if you can’t quit (yet).
Already out of the toxic job?
You thought you’d finally be free. But you can’t stop thinking about it, and you feel like a broken version of yourself.